Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
