So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Randomize
