You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Randomize
