I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
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