I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Randomize
