I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
