yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
