Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
