WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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