White coat. Heels.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
