i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
