he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
