all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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