i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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