You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
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