Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Randomize
