drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
