That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
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