3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
I cannot find my penis.
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Randomize
