I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I have post one night stand depression
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