his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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