ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Randomize