You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
you had me at cake vodka
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
