The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
