she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
So here I am, sexting at work.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
