I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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