and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
