She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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