There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
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