The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
