Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
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