Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
