umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
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