cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
