why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
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