I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
