I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Randomize
