Dual....:-)
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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