Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Blood and glitter go together right?
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
