Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
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