My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
