why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Randomize
