i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
