Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
