Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
