I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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