I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
