Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Randomize
