It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
