So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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