When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
